Journeying together

Well, it's Friday. I've finished my classes for the week and just have enough time before OCF to consider a small part of what God's been doing in my life this week and try to relate it to you. There's so much to tell and if you had seen the email I wrote to my dad (and mum) just the other day and known how small a part it was of what was on my heart, you just might be amazed!

 

Just yesterday alone was a phenomenal glimpse of God in and around my life! I spent the majority of it with a somewhat new-found-friend and it was so wonderful to see how God was working in her life and how for at least yesterday I could be a small part of it. I would give details but I feel like it's more of her testimony than mine.Whatever the case, it was definitely a cause for celebration and rejoicing- truly ALL the GLORY goes to God!

 

The other things I speak of, I guess can be lumped together as one massive answer to prayer and that would be 'assurance'. There seems to be a mountain of changes blowing in my direction and change often means uncertainly which often leads to some sort of worry or panic or anxiety. For example, with my conditional offer for the PGCE next year comes a whole bunch of requirements, administration, new responsibilities and so on. It made me think again if this is really God's plan for my life or is it something that sounded good to me or just something I wanted to do. Is this MY plan instead of God's? Definitely a lot of similar questions came along though I trust whoever is reading this will have had similar thoughts.

 

It's been an amazing growing week and God has assured me of so many things in so many ways. In fact just a couple of hours ago, I got an email from my dad which was really encouraging. It was also good to talk to a couple of friends who I haven't spoken to in a LONG while and just pick up where we left off. Praise the Lord for such friends!

 

Well, as you all know, I can always go on and on but you find me today struggling to find words to organise my thoughts so I'll stop there.

 

If there's one thing that I've felt most this week that I didn't really get to cover is that It is great to be used of God to bless the ones we love and if we can bless the even the ones that we may not love then that it is even more amazing!

 

 

 

 

Well, I just wanted to write a quick update to let you know that I've received a conditional offer following what I felt was the worst interview of my life (not that I've had THAT many interviews or anything). I take this as an INCREDIBLE answer to prayer and assurance that this is where God wants me to be, albeit the work ahead looks tough and this is definitely not the end. First things first, I mentioned it is a conditional offer so the foremost focus now is to graduate! If you will remember, this depends very much on the ten exams I'll be sitting for in the summer. I also need to write a short essay to impress the school I'll be going to and then there's all those other little administrative details to wade through- the big one being an application for the finance. In whatever is happening in the immediate future, I certainly do praise the Lord for this answer to prayer because I know it is ALL by God's grace and mercy that I could even get this far and it will only be with the Lord's strength, wisdom and guidance to keep me going. This certainly feels like a John 15:5 moment so let us continue to abide in Him!

 

As the last blog, I thought I'd end by sharing with you another poem from the devotional I'm reading. It seems to me so appropriate considering this lesson in focusing not on the trial of the interview or even the importance of finishing this stage of my education but keeping that focus instead on The dearest Shepherd Himself!

 

 

 

 

 

 

In short, the interview did not go as smoothly as I had hoped. In fact, it was close to being a total disaster so if God wants me to do the PGCE in Kings specifically, this will be His reassuring miracle for me to press on in that direction. I would give you specific details but I think that is unnecessary just now. If you really are THAT curious, you'll have to email or call me or something. (Anything to get you guys to stay in touch. Aren't I a little devious?) *GRIN*

 

Since the interview, though I was discouraged, I was reminded in so many ways and circumstances how truly blessed I am and it was a blessing in itself to be able to give thanks to the Lord. Even this morning, I was reading from an A.W. Tozer devotional 'The Pursuit of God' (which I should've probably read a LONG time ago) that complimented a comment I had passed onto a friend but had not hit me in my own situation to really focus on the Lord for who He is and not what He can do for us or can give us. The song "Turn your eyes upon Jesus" come to mind with the words "look full in His wonderful face and the things of this world will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace." I guess I'll share with you the poem that I read at the end of the chapter and the prayer I would like to agree with from that book as well.

 

 

 

 

 So I end now this blog with this prayer:

 

" O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need of further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. In Jesus' name. Amen."

 

It's the last week before the last of my classes start again.  I should be reading up notes from last semester. I should be reading notes from previous years in preparation for this huge interview coming up on Friday. I should be writing loads of complaints to the math department to get them to sort out my scheduling (maybe). That seems to be a lot of 'should be's. There's been a sort of strange danger of making excuses such as I'd rather use this time to read non-school related books. I recently found a book expounding on Proverbs, which is what I'm reading in my time alone with God at the moment. Other noble-sounding excuses include letter writing, researching for future opportunities, organising events and I guess I could always make the list longer. Of course, it will be my own fault if I don't get the things I know should be done, done. The verse that comes to mind has to be James 4:17; not that, not doing maths is a sin (though some people might think so), but if you know to do GOOD (or how to do something worthwhile), and don't do it, surely that is foolishness.

 

I read a quote just this morning about how "it is not just the will to win that ensures victory but the will to prepare and move". Just looking at the destination and wanting to be there badly doesn't get you there. There is an element of faith which comes in as we take steps. God has definitely been teaching me this in my own prayers. 

 

I was told this interview on Friday was going to take about 3 hours long (don't ask me why) and honestly, I was intimidated immediately by that. Then, on Sunday, we sang "I walk by faith, each step by faith, to live by faith. I put my trust in You... Every move I make is a step of faith. No weapon formed against me shall prosper. Every prayer I make is a prayer of faith. If my God is for me then who can be against me?" Is every step, move and prayer I've made really been in faith? Do you ever prayer those prayers where you think, "yea that's what I want and hopefully God wants that too in which case, He'll give it to me"? What sort of faith is that and yet I'm definitely guilty. We come to seek God's agenda, not our own. We pray because God has given us a glimpse of Himself, His purposes and His Will, and then in obedience we need to step out and ask God to enable us to get there, to fulfill it. What weapons then are formed against us, against us getting there? One which punctured a wound in my own flesh, fiery dart of fear. Fear cripples but perfect love casts out all fear (1 John 4:18). Praise God indeed!

 

Thank you for standing with me in prayer. You have no idea just how much I am humbled to know of so many people who take even a moment to pray for me, and just how encouraged I am and thankful and blessed I feel to have such a huge loving family. All glory to God!

Just so you know, our photos from our Italy trip are now up if you click on the photo link, or if you're on facebook, they are on there as well.

 

 

We arrived back in London yesterday evening and though I thoroughly enjoyed Italy, it is good to be back. It was especially great to open the door and find a huge pile of letters with Christmas cards and such that had arrived while we were away. I hope we manage to reply all of them.

 

Yup, Italy was great. It was a little strange sticking to the touristy stuff but definitely fun. I hope you guys have time to look at some of the pictures because it would be so difficult for me to describe it all to you. Venice was breath-taking. Florence was beautiful (that's where we were on Christmas day). Rome was really exciting with so much to offer. Pisa was lovely too though we spent more time in Lucca which was an amazing walled city. We walked A LOT, discovering so many hidden beauties and uncovering some of the greatest little streets. You definitely see more when you walk. No pizza or pasta will ever be the same again after this trip and for those of you who know just how much I love good ice-cream, it'll be even harder to find to compete with the heavenly gelato of Italy! We certainly have been abundantly blessed!

 

In the midst of celebration, there was also a sting of sadness as one of our dear friends went to be with the Lord just before Christmas. We thank God that his suffering has ended and that he is now in glory though we want to also continue to pray God's grace, peace and love on his wife.

 

I don't start classes again until the 19th but I would appreciate prayer as I'm having some trouble with the time-table. If the school office decides not to change the shcedule, I might be forced to change modules, which I really don't want to do. Being my last semester as well, there comes a bit of pressure to really get all that data into my head before the final exams that will be in May and June. If you remember, I will have to also resit the two modules that I failed last summer so that adds on a little bit of stress though I won't feel the heat until May starts rolling around the corner. I am looking forward to this semester though, as the modules sound more interesting to me. Not that you'd be interested but in case you are, they will include things like Topology, Galois Theory (I'm not sure what it is really but it sounded interesting anyway) and some other stuff that I can't seem to recall right now.

 

Well, again, thank you all for your Christmas greetings. I do hope you've had a most joyous and meaningful Christmas and also a very special and God-inspired New Year. May this new year hold many more blessings as I pray you continue to seek after God and walk with Him every single day.

 

Walking with Jesus into 2009...